Stupid Me
2003-06-04 @ 11:45 p.m.
Yet another night where I have been forsaken. Yes, it is true I have been left in the cold...again. When will I learn, honestly? Why is it that whenever I give him what he wants it's always up in the air for what I want afterwards. I never do that to him, I never leave him stiff. I guess I deserve this ya know, because after it happening several times before you'd think I'd learn to not let him go first. Well obviously I didn't learn, so you know what I blame this on myself. I'll have a good cry now......................okay I'm back. Honestly, it's to the point where I don't care about the receiving anymore because it's actually starting to hurt me emotionally. I've defenitely said something to him about it and he's known that I get upset and all. But it stil continues and that's the part that hurts. *sighs* I don't know what to do anymore...maybe sex isn't a good thing for us anymore. I think I'm going to just put an end to it because all it does now is upset me. Who was I kidding, he didn't miss me...he missed my sex amd what I could do for him. I wish I could leave right now but he's blocked me in the driveway. I'll just cry in the bathroom for a while and hopefully be able to fall asleep...talk about being happy right?